


Reciprocation

by portmuffin



Category: Dangan Ronpa Zero
Genre: F/M, Unreciprocated Love, angsty, danganronpa zero, hell junko, im crying, matsuda is a softy, the heck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 04:25:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12927393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/portmuffin/pseuds/portmuffin
Summary: As his eyes slowly closed, he finally realized what great pain she had to secretly suffer, knowing that there was no reciprocation of feelings between the both of them.





	Reciprocation

**Author's Note:**

> After months of writing hiatus, I'm finally back with another angst story waaahh ;; I hope you'll enjoy it!
> 
> twitter: @audhuImas

Snow fell upon the roofs of the academy, creating a serene yet cold atmosphere. It was utterly cold outside. The entire setting seemed thoroughly passive. It was quiet as well; Hope’s Peak Academy drowned in constant silence.

            Ryouko looked at the window from the inside. She imagined herself walking on the large sheet of snow over the pavement, leaving footprints all over. She wished she could’ve done that, but she was susceptible to the cold. Not to mention, Matsuda wouldn’t join her. The redhead looked away from the window and looked at him instead.

            Hope’s Peak Academy was a prestigious academy known for its elite students with paramount abilities when it comes to their particular talents, but it gained a huge deterioration in their reputation for the past few months. The Parade had quieted down because of the unpleasant weather, but there are still minimum riots happening outside the gates. Until now, the administration hasn’t found a solution to the public’s clamor.

            The silence broke when Matsuda noticed the girl’s unusual silence. He knew she was staring at him, so he didn’t bother looking back at her and continued reading the shounen manga he held.

            “Hey, bird-brain.”

            Ryouko suddenly gained mental consciousness after staring at him for minutes. She pretended to scan her notebook to avoid further assumptions from the man.

            “Y-Yes?”

            “Do you need anything?” He snickered at her unnecessary mannerism. “That’s futile. I know you were staring down to my soul. It’s creepy, so stop doing that.”     

            “Whatever, Matsuda-kun! Be grateful that a beautiful girl like me is head over heels for you. Wow, I can’t believe I said something new! Hey, Matsuda-kun, you heard that, didn’t you? I said I was—“

            “Shut up, blabbermouth. I’m reading.” He turned a page and turned his back on her. “Well, do you need anything? I don’t recall asking you to come here. You’re wasting your time and, especially, my time. Now, go.”

            “Jeez, Matsuda-kun, it’s very cold outside. It’s really warm here, did you know that? Just let me stay with you for a little while, okay?”

            “I don’t care. Out.”

            “But—“

            He took the initiative of looking away from the mange he was completely focused on and looked at the girl with a frown.

            “What? Is there something you would like to say before you leave?”

            Ryouko slowly looked at him and returned his gaze. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

            “Matsuda-kun, I’m pretty sure you’re aware of what I feel towards you. And I know that you’re not interested in reciprocating whatever I feel towards you, and it’s something I’ve acknowledged. Actually, I kinda like how things are going for us. I can keep up with your insults, as long as you are with me. You’re the only person who remained not only in my brain, but also in my heart.”

            The redhead stood up with her notebook in hand and looked at him for the last time. He returned to reading his manga, although she noticed that he was on the last page.

            “Well, that’s all I have to say. I’ll see you later.”

            She left the room with a despondent look on her face. Traces of sadness were painted on her face, though she wore a hypocritical smile. It was unusual for her to become sad about something she acknowledged for a long time. Matsuda thought about it, and he found it unusual too. He would’ve followed her and asked her to stay and run another test on her vital signs, but he was preoccupied by his research. He closed the shounen manga before going to his work desk and continued his job.

            Ryouko walked all over the front quadrangle, enjoying the footprints she left behind. It was to kill time and to ease her boredom too, since there was nothing to do at all. When she got tired, she sat on a nearby bench and scanned her notebook. It contained a cornucopia of words and memories that her brain couldn’t contain. She stopped at a certain page where it contained a messy portrait of her beloved Matsuda. She smiled, admiring his attractive facial physique.

            It has been a while since they met. Ryouko enjoyed his presence, disregarding his sharp tongue and merciless insults. Her ‘brain disease,’ as she would call it, certainly left an unbeneficial impact on her existence, but despite that, he remained in her memory. He was the only person who remained, and so she vowed that she would trust him with her life.

            She loved him completely. But he wasn’t interested in her.

            However, she paid it no mind. She still loved being with him.

            The analyst, deep in her thoughts, was brought back to reality when she realized it was getting dark. It was getting cold as well, so she quickly returned to her dormitory.

 

 

            Matsuda, having finished his research, left his lab as soon as possible. He got up, fixed his work place, and checked if all of his medical equipment were switched off. He thought of dropping by Ryouko’s dorm to inform her of her check-up tomorrow, so he immediately went to the students’ dormitory building.

            Lost in his thoughts, he reminisced on how he met the redhead. He couldn’t say for sure if he truly enjoyed being with her albeit his nonstop harsh remarks. He acted as if he was her guardian, helping her with her mental predicament. It was to examine her further as well, knowing that it would be rewarding for him to cure her ‘disease.’

            Upon reaching Ryouko’s dorm, he opened it without a second thought. He found it odd that the room was entirely dark and there was no one inside. He quickly opened the lights and scanned the room, in hopes of locating the girl.

            “Ryouko… where are you?”

            Matsuda was confident that the redhead would immediately head to her dorm right away. She would have not forgotten about it, since the map of the dormitory building was located on the first part of her notebook. He became worried. Frantically, he roamed around her room, but didn’t locate the girl anywhere.

            He found a familiar notebook on top of her desk. It was her memory notebook. Quickly, he took it and scanned the pages. For the redhead to head out without her memory notebook is dangerous and risky. It served as her brain. Without it, she’s helpless.

            “Damn it… where did that airhead go?!”

            The man desperately flipped through the pages of the notebook to find some sort of clue. He didn’t stop until he reached the last page, where he found a peculiar note. It was dedicated for him. Upon reading it, he became paralyzed in fear. He brought the notebook and immediately left the room.

            _Ma-tsu-da~_

_Meet me at the back quadrangle. Don’t keep me waiting~_

_Otonashi Ryouko..?_

            Matsuda already had an idea on what had happened. For the dreadful thing to come and happen this time was something he had long feared. He failed to keep her. He held the memory notebook so tight, as if he didn’t want to let it go. He didn’t want to let her go.

            _“Ah, Matsuda-kun! You arrived quickly than I expected. Did you miss me that much?”_

Hearing that despairing voice made him shudder.

            Seeing her in the redhead’s body infuriated him.

            “Enoshima Junko… you’ve returned.”

            “Well, of course I did! I didn’t want my beloved Matsuda-kun to wait for me for so long, after all!”

            The man looked at her with a wrathful look. He didn’t want to see her again. In fact, he wished she never returned.

            “Bring Ryouko back.”

            “Huuuh? Has the doctor lost his itty-witty brain? I _am_ Ryouko Otonashi.”

            Suddenly, he grabbed her by the neck. He was determined to cease her airflow and kill her, even if it means losing the girl he wanted. He let out a deafening cry, one filled with anger and disdain. The female, on the other hand, showed signs of desperation to escape his tight grip, but returned him a scornful look.

            “C-Contemptible…”

            Matsuda glared at her with eyes as sharp as icicle spears. He couldn’t stand seeing her. He wanted to kill her, once and for all. But by doing so, Ryouko would also die. Bringing her back is futile. He just had to accept it. Killing Junko wouldn’t bring her back either. Slowly, he loosened his grip on the female and stepped behind. He couldn’t look at her anymore.

            “My, my, when did you become a softy? You disgust me beyond words. Was your sharp tongue just a ruse?”

            Junko coughed and regained her composure. She quickly recovered from the man’s sudden outburst despite being asleep within Ryouko’s presence for a long time.

            “Matsuda… have you ever thought about this girl’s feelings for you? She loved you, didn’t you know that? But being the impassive asshole that you are, you disregarded her like dirt. Isn’t that… despairing?”

            She approached him with a captivating look. She wanted to beguile him. Her true intentions lied beneath her enchanting mask.

            But Matsuda couldn’t do anything. He was paralyzed.

            He wanted Ryouko back.

            _“This is for everything you couldn’t return back. For all the love that I have given you but threw them away like garbage. I love you, Matsuda-kun.”_

Without a warning, the girl brought out a sharp dagger and mercilessly stabbed the helpless man repeatedly. He did nothing but scream in despair as the pain crept up ‘til the innermost layer of his soul. He lied down, covered in blood, hopeless.

            _This is the end for me, huh?_

_I’m sorry, Ryouko._

_I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you’ve always wanted the entire time._

Before he left, he looked at her for the last time. He saw the despondent look he saw when the girl left the lab. It broke his heart. As his eyes slowly closed, he finally realized what great pain she had to secretly suffer, knowing that there was no reciprocation of feelings between the both of them.

            It was more painful than a thousand dagger wounds.

            It was the greatest pain of all.


End file.
